My Journey with Spoken Word — Mehrnaz the Poet

I started writing poetry in high school, and ever since then, I’ve always admired the art of spoken word and performance poetry. At the time, I didn’t even consider sharing my poems to my close family and friends let alone performing my deepest thoughts to a group of strangers. It took me several years before I started to get comfortable sharing my work with those around me, and my curiosity for spoken word began to spark again.

Still, my own insecurities prevented me from pursuing this new realm of writing. I thought to myself, how can I build up the confidence to perform my work in front of people? My work isn’t good enough. My voice isn’t strong enough. I need to write more. I’m not ready.

Years later, I decided to push my fears aside and face a hard truth. There truly never is the perfect time to start something. As cliche as that sounds, the truth was that I was never ready. But if I didn’t take that first step, I would’ve never known what was waiting for me at the end of the road.

So last year, I pulled up one of my old poems from my computer titled Back to Bed and practiced reciting it in front of the mirror. I was lucky to have a friend who previously performed spoken word. So I would call her up and ask for tips, then practiced some more!

Still, the same toxic thoughts entered my head. I kept thinking to myself: you’re going to mess up and stutter your words. That poem won’t resonate with the audience. You’re not ready yet. You’re still not ready.

Despite myself, I continued with my decision to perform my poem. On January 9, 2018, I waited in line at Da Poetry Lounge, the biggest open mic event in Los Angeles, and signed up to perform. I had my friends there to support me and cheer me on, which temporarily helped my anxiety.

When they called my name, I was so nervous I thought I was I was going to puke. The place was unbelievably crowded that people had to sit on the stage. I took a deep breath and began to recite…

Then, 2 minutes later, I was finished. The crowd applauded. I thought to myself: this is it? To be honest, it was pretty anti-climatic. This is what my thoughts prolonged me to do for several years?!

But in that 2 minutes, I had grown so much as a writer than I did prior when I was just vomiting words in my high school journal, or even in my college classes studying Chaucer and Shakespeare.

After that 2-minute performance, I started writing poems that were intended to be performed. I wrote poems that were more conscious of the breath, that had patterns of speech which made it easier to memorize. I wrote poems with more simple language so that the audience could understand quicker. After that 2-minute performance, I built the confidence to do it again.

It’s been almost two years and I’ve been performing spoken word at various events across LA. I’m still learning. I’m still overcoming challenges and my own insecurities, but I’m improving. It was the best decision I made because it pushed me to step outside of my comfort zone and write from a different angle. The more ways you can expand your writing, the better of a writer you’ll be!